From now on, I’m going to have to pretend to be retarded for five days a week, or at least more retarded than I usually am. It all started yesterday when I was leaving work. (I’d appreciate it if you pictured a flashback dissolve and some harp music here) I had just wrapped up my day and I was heading out to my car. Most of the time, I’m lost in my thoughts and yesterday afternoon was just like any other day. I was pondering the important issue of “How Many Chicken Wings I Could Eat in an Hour” when I realised that I was making the face – the thinking face – the one where I furrow my brow and pucker my lips. If you’ve never witnessed the Frank (Slept Here) thinking face, it looks like I want to kiss you, but I’m really unhappy about it.
Normally the thinking face is no problem, but at the moment I was making it yesterday, I caught the eye of my boss, who saw me and then did a double-take when she saw that I was making angry kissy faces at her. As soon as she looked at me the second time, I knew that I had to make a choice…if I stop making the face and smile, she might think I was coming on to her and suggesting that we make out in some deeply concerning way. BUT, if I keep making the face, she’ll just think I’m retarded. My father always says it’s better to be a retard with a job than get a sexual harrassment suit, so now I’ll just have to make this face all day, every day, until one of us quits.
Is it Friday yet?
LOL!
The good part is that now you can turn the sexual harassment suit around. "How dare you take advantage of a disabled person?!"
Frank… Why must you stick the image of your angry kissy face in my mind? I'll never be the same again.
Classic.
Haha, well that will certainly make work more entertaining.
Oh, my. I make that same damn face!Pearl
Oh, the predicaments that you find yourself in Frank!? Whatever will you do?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And I'm glad you don't take offense to the word "retarded." It makes me angry when people do.
Alternately, next time you see them you could mention your 'special' twin brother who came in to visit you at work the other day?
HAHAHA. That was so funny. I literally laughed out loud.
Haha, that is hilarious. I cannot wait till 5:00 tomorrow.
What if she's into that?
I'm not sure what my thinking face looks like — though now I'm curious….. but, um, how many chicken wings CAN you eat in one hour?? Are they buffalo wings? I think we need to figure this out.
Hahahaha! I also have the tendency to put a very blonde-like face when I'm daydreaming. I hope people don't think I have mental spasms!
Your dad is a wise man! I'm glad to find a blogger who isn't afraid to use the word retarded (or to act like he is) once in a while.